My Path Lately
Ecumenical Sorting and other things
Good day, lovely readers. In this newsletter, you may have come to expect an article about a specific topic each month. While I would love for that to be the case, I can’t seem to *narrow down a particular subject this month, so I thought I’d try a “checking in” type post. The idea is to share a bit of life lately and what the view is looking like on my path. We’ll see how this goes.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6 - ESV
Ecumenical Sorting Underway
In June of 2023, my family left our home church affiliated with the United Methodist Church (UMC) denomination. My wife, Jennifer, and I decided the actions and/or inactions of the denomination were not in line with scripture so we made for the exit. This was very difficult because we loved the individual people of that church. Unfortunately, given the structure of the UMC, we believe it’s only a matter of time before the rot seeps into all local churches and we could not, in good conscience, allow our family to be associated with a denomination that is bending scripture to justify the hip sins of our times. No, thanks.
This exit brought much peace, thankfully. Not only was a burden lifted in swimming away from a sinking ship, but the step away coincided with the birth of our youngest daughter. On the personal side, this space also gave me time for deep questioning. That is; what is it I truly believe?
At that point, I had already dipped my toe into early church history. The great teachers of The Lord of Spirits podcast opened my mind to a more ancient perspective of Christianity and I began to read more about the Eastern Orthodox church. My wonderful interactions with a few fine Catholics on Substack eventually piqued my curiosity about Catholicism as well. And that is where it gets tricky…
After more than two months without church attendance, my wife and I decided we needed to get our butts back in a pew. While we have many churches in our area to choose from, we ultimately decided on a Baptist church literally a few hundred feet from the Methodist we’d just walked away from. It’s been a natural fit. We know many people and families there already and the church is very active in community outreach, something we think is very important. We jumped right into the 9 a.m. service and joined a “Young and Married” Sunday School group where we’ve made great friends and have grown closer as a couple through God’s word. The difficult part of all this is that while we started to attend this church and make these friends, I’d been increasingly more interested in Liturgy, Saints, and asking questions about the Catholic Church. A true interior Ecumenical Mess™️. Why would this be a problem? Because I wasn’t being open and honest about my questioning.
I have the most gracious wife a man could ask for (you’ll see this soon), but she’s told me before that she’s not interested in talking about religious history, the differences in Christian denominations, and the like. So while I’ve been researching questions about the papacy, dogmas surrounding the Blessed Virgin Mary, and objections to sola scriptura (scripture alone) I kept my findings and feelings to myself (aside from a little comment here and there). I even started to pray the Rosary and had an encounter with Mary without telling my wife! One night in early January, it finally hit me that my interest in the Catholic Church had to be explored further1. This also meant it was time to tell my wife. And that did not go well.
Let me remind you, she had no idea what was coming. So when I said to her one night, “I think I need to go to mass and am considering becoming Catholic,” she was in complete shock, and I couldn’t blame her.
The next few days were probably the most tense we’ve had in our marriage. Perhaps in our nearly 14 years as a couple. Many tears were shed as she asked me loads of questions and tried to wrap her mind around the fact that my discontent with certain aspects of Protestantism had come so far. Being raised Baptist her entire life (before attending the Methodist church with me), and with me not being open with my questioning, I was essentially pulling her into the deep end of my ecumenical ocean while she was trying to find a life jacket. Men, take a lesson from me; whatever questioning you're doing with your faith; tell your wife. Not doing so only brings pain.
After about three days of very tense air at home, Jennifer and I made some progress. She forgave me for keeping her in the dark and began asking real questions about what I had been finding and thinking about. We laughed, we hugged, and we cried. Ultimately, we found ourselves back on solid ground with our love for Christ and each other still holding us firmly together.
What happened next?
On January 14th, I attended my first mass with
as he too has been increasingly interested in Catholicism. We stuck out like sore thumbs, as you might imagine. Not only do you have identical twins attending mass in a new church, but you also have Protestant identical twins attending mass having no clue what to say or what to do. Luckily neither one of us is very shy so we still had a great time learning and observing. We even got a thumbs up from the priest during the offertory who told us we were doing great! That wasn’t necessary but it was appreciated and gave me a good laugh.The next Sunday, my wife and I decided we would attend mass closer to home. While she is not where I’m at in questioning, she still wanted to support me. Unfortunately, our oldest daughter (three years old) was especially toddlery that morning and had no intention of putting on her listening ears. That plus the fact that we were in a very small church for a service that was completely alien to Jennifer….. let’s just say mass did not go well for us that day. We were in the car and headed home after about 20 minutes after our toddler began a full-blown tantrum. Jennifer was extremely embarrassed and ultimately told me she was very uncomfortable in mass.
Our experience together at mass led us to more and more conversations. What do we believe is true? Where will we grow closer to Christ? What can be done to grow us closer as a family and better serve our community in a way that involves our entire family?
Jennifer has decided that while she sees no issues with what Catholics believe or practice, she does not feel convicted to convert. Although she does not love the idea of us attending church separately, she’s given me the freedom to attend mass if I feel that’s where I’m being led and even to convert if that’s what I feel I need to do. So what do I feel led to do?
As a family, we’ve agreed to incorporate more liturgical aspects of Christianity into our home and learn more about the Saints. We agree that much has been lost in our traditions over time and we could only benefit from a closer look at our past. Individually, I have decided to take a breath and give myself more space and time to decide on these things. I will not ignore the truth but I still have reservations about some aspects of Catholicism. And obviously, I want to make sure I’m doing the right thing for my whole family and not just for myself. If that means converting alone so be it, but as it’s a massive decision, I want to be certain.
So, because I’m not allowed to partake in the Eucharist (which, I am not offended by… I get it) or begin the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) classes until the fall, I’m going to use the next few months to pray and discern the way forward. I will be a regular attendee of the Baptist church with my family but will also likely continue to go to mass here and there. I will pray and fast and ask the Lord where He wants to use me and in what capacity. So please friends, pray for me and my family as we try to determine where and how we will be better servants for Christ.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Being On Guard
As 2024 began, I started asking God what he wanted me to focus on this year. I kept being led back to the phrase “be on guard.” Mind you, this was before I attended mass, considered Catholicism, and ultimately decided to discern my future in the church. I truly believe this will take on multiple layers of meaning for me.
I’m feeling more than ever now that God is telling me that the devil will try to pull me away from Christ during this time of discernment. So pray for me, that in this time of questioning, I don’t forget that I’m not questioning Christ, His divinity, or authority. I’m not questioning where my loyalty lies. I’m only questioning what my walk in a local church looks like and where I will best be in service to God.
In a broader sense, I do feel I’m also being told to put on the full armor of God as our country (USA) dives into another, already contentious, presidential election. I tend to dwell on these issues and generally do not have an optimistic outlook on the future of our country, no matter which way the votes fall. So for me, it will be best to take up my shield and sword now to prepare myself for the insanity that is sure to come. My advice to you; turn off the news. Don’t read it. Don’t watch. Try not to talk about it if you can avoid it. And pray for our country, regardless of who you support or who winds up in the Oval Office. I tried for a hot second last month to use the news as a tool for prayer and felt very quickly the Lord was telling me, “What you need to know will come to you. You don’t need this to pray for my people.”
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:10-12 ESV
Books I’m Reading
Thanks to
and , I’m close to finishing Story of a Soul, the autobiography of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. It’s an inspiring but challenging read. I admire Saint Thérèse’s constant attitude of humility and servitude and am inspired to act more this way myself. Truly, it’s a great reminder to offer yourself in service to Christ in all you do.After finishing that book, I’ll be reading Rome Sweet Home by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. Jennifer just finished this book and says they do a great job of explaining aspects of the Catholic faith we’re not familiar with. I’ll be reading this carefully and prayerfully while discerning my way forward.
By March I hope to continue my trip to Mordor and pick up The Two Towers. Hopefully, by the end of 2024, I will have read all of The Lord of the Rings books.
Music I’m Listening to
Aside from my hunting blues music for Blue Wednesday, I’ve been returning to some “old” favorites recently by Metallica and Jamestown Revival. You don’t have to be a metalhead to enjoy “Nothing Else Matters.” It’s simply a beautiful song and is more pop/rock than it is metal. If you’ve never given Metallica a chance, let this be your first song. As far as Jamestown Revival goes, I think the song below resonates with me now because I never seem to choose the simple way to go about anything. I’ve also been keeping up with new tunes from Americana guru Sarah Jarosz. Her new album is fantastic and the song below is my current standout. Enjoy!
Podcasts
Lately, I’ve been diving into Pints with Aquinas podcast as I try to understand Catholic positions and learn from other people’s experiences. As a former Methodist, I found this episode with a former Methodist pastor particularly interesting.
A Closing Prayer
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
Lord, I thank you for your constant provision. I have more than I deserve and am forever grateful. By your Holy Spirit, guide me in following your way. May you search my heart and find a man ready to serve you wherever you will have me.
I ask your guidance for all of us in the world now in navigating these uncertain and trying times. Help us to remember You as our firm foundation and help us to remember that Christ alone is the way, the truth, and the life.
In His holy name, I pray,
Amen.
Thank you for reading. May God bless you and keep you.
If anyone is curious, I’m only exploring Catholicism at this point and not Eastern Orthodoxy. The controversy of the filioque and a few other things had me breaking toward the Catholics.
This is really hard, Derek, but also good. I'll be praying for you and Jennifer! Good for you for breaking the ice and her for accompanying you even as you each will have your own discernment. God will lead you both! It is an uncomfortable experience to have to face a change like this with courage, but you are doing it.
As for the three-year-old...man, yeah, it's tough. Just be assured that every Catholic three-year-old has done this in church more than once. I'm sure it was embarrassing, but truly...you and your daughter are welcome!! We all have stories like this. And it's okay to shop around a little bit to find the parish where it is easiest to go with kids :)
I want to say BEEN THERE DONE THAT in the biggest possible letters. Hang in there!
Jennifer -- my husband has sprung stuff like this on me before. (The jerk! Just kidding...sort of...) It has always resolved well in time, and we have grown from it, and even from the conflict in it.
Man, I can relate to so much of what you are going through.
My wife was/is not interested in discussing theological issues or differences.
She was also not interested in converting to Catholicism when I out of the blue told her I was.
My two year old son was not interested in our first mass and that experience ended worse for us. We didn’t leave and some hateful hag scolded my wife after mass and told us we should have left because he was distracting. After that experience my wife was even less interested in converting.
But three years after that incident we are in RCIA and our whole family will be entering the Church this Easter.
You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing as a husband and father. Keep seeking the Lord’s direction and keep being patient and gracious with your wife and He will lead you to where you need to be.