Slow Down

Because Life Will Not

Photo by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash

You don’t have as much time as you think you do.

It was an idyllic Saturday afternoon in early spring. The weather was somewhere in the Goldilocks zone: not too hot, not too cold, and my two daughters were calm and playful. The girls were alone with dad while mom enjoyed a well-deserved morning to herself and were terrific! They listened well enough to allow me to begin a decent fire for our excess limbs and sticks, and they even helped to pick up some more yard debris to help feed the flames as we played.

My almost two-year-old, Eliza, enjoyed chalk and empty cardboard boxes on the porch, while my four-year-old, Kate, wanted ol’ dad to play with her in the yard. And that’s when it happened…

Kate tried and tried and eventually forced her way into her blue Little Tikes Cozy Truck, begging me to push her around the yard as we’ve done countless times before. And I tried… And I tried… No movement. So I tried once more while looking at her in the truck, and it was very apparent she was wedged. Pushing her would likely hurt her legs, forcing them under the truck while leaving her no option but to drag her feet across the ground. Before I could really think through what I was saying, I told her, “Well, honey, you’ve outgrown this truck. You’re such a big kid now that I can’t push you around in here anymore, so we’re going to have to play something else.”

With a simple, “Awe, okay…,” Kate excited the truck, struggling again, and skipped to her next activity. Running off, she called behind to me, “Daddy, come play.” What she didn’t know was that daddy stood in her wake with tears welling.

Head slumped, I thought, “Are you serious? “You’ve pushed her in that old truck for the last time ALREADY?!"

I was rooted. Dumbfounded. Paralyzed and confounded at the cruelty of the passage of time. Sure, she’s four, so she’s already outgrown a few things, but this?! Her go-to yard toy for two years? This truck her mother worked so hard on to morph into “Little Blue Truck” for her second birthday? Surely not this truck… How did this happen so fast? It’s a bit cliché, but I do wish I had known that the last time I pushed her in that truck would be the last time. Maybe I’d have pushed her twelve more laps around the yard. Maybe I’d have played the “slow game,” trying to keep her there as long as possible. Or maybe I would have given her a giant hug on her last exit. But I didn’t know. And I don’t think I was supposed to know. I’ll try to trust in God’s mercy that his creation works in this way for our good, but I’m not going to lie about how robbed I felt. Time, indeed, is such a thief.

Kate and her daffodils.

You better believe I spent the rest of our morning together playing as much as possible and being grateful for every moment.

As we enter this season of Lent, let’s be fully aware of its liturgical purpose: to repent of our sins and draw closer to Christ through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving (charity). What a gift the Church has given us with this time! It is a time when we can deliberately rid ourselves of some earthly possessions, focus more on Christ, and find our sustenance through Him. Ament! But let’s not discount Lent as a time of respite as well.

While Lent, for many, can (and should) remind us of Christ’s sufferings and sacrifice, it’s also a time to reflect daily on our countless grace-given blessings. Absolutely, use this Lent to remember our Lord’s days leading him to Golgotha. But don’t lose yourself in suffering so much that we lose sight of His many gifts. Like many of you, I imagine that my fasting choices for Lent usually leave me with “found time.” So, in addition to using that time to say an additional Jesus Prayer or Glory Be, I will also take time to sit in silence. To slow down. To be quiet and allow my mind to reflect on the many things and people God has blessed me with. I’ll also make sure to try and savor every single moment I have with the ones I love because life is reminding me all too frequently that time waits for no one.

So this Lent, call the mom or dad who needs to hear from you more than you realTryffort to see that friend who lives so close but may as well live a thousand miles away. Or take the time to talk to that coworker who looks like they could use a smile. All this to say, take this time to show someone else that you love them because He first loved us. Find joy through suffering.

So that’s my advice to you this Lent: be intentional, talk to people, and SLOW DOWN because life will not.

A song for my feelings:

Good reads:

I’ve been slowly getting back to reading and interacting with some of my favorite Substacks. Here are two I’ve really enjoyed lately from my friends Walther Cantu and Sara Dietz .

Smorgasbord #70

"for this, there is always time"