Digital Detox Results: Needs Improvement

Already Starting Over

Guatemala 2017

Near the end of 2022 I began the crawl of distancing myself from social media. After deleting Facebook and Instagram from my phone, a day or so would pass and I would give into some excuse to return to the app store only to rinse and repeat. Praise God for Lent. When the Lenten season began I decided I was going to put the news behind me. It was only obvious to me these portals of the machine must stay off my phone if I was going to take the news fast seriously. And it worked! Not only do I still enjoy the levity of news-less life but I also escaped the grip of these damnable little social monsters¹. When Lent was over I logged on to Instagram one last time and deleted my account.

As I was crawling away at my own slow pace, I also decided to take Substack more seriously for both reading and writing. The goal is to write at least one solid essay a month but to strive for two if possible. It was in perusing Substack where I found

Ruth Gaskovski

, her incredible publication and her invitation to join a 30-Day Digital Detox. I thought it was exactly what I needed and aligned very well with my own personal notion to distance myself from the internet as much as possible.

Overall, this digital detox has been a wonderful stepping stone on a path I believe, in some ways, will last for the rest of my life. Time spent alone in the true quiet of prayer during solitary walks or solitary yard work has brought me an unexpected amount of peace. Life is so much slower than I remember and for that I’m thankful. The 30-days have also shown an improvement in my memory. I made the difficult decision to put Spotify to the backburner (most of the time) and this led me back to CDs during my commutes. Was it thrilling! My first time through a few of the discs, I was a bit rusty on remembering the lyrics. But when I played them through a second time I might as well have been at karaoke night. And it seems to me that bringing these songs back to my mind allowed me to recall others as I’ve had songs in my head recently that I’ve not heard in years.

But I’ll be the first to admit all things did not go as I had intended. I’m not as disciplined in some areas as I ought to be and changes still need to be made. Though in my heart I’m ready to “Make Haste,” life has shown me once again that worthy changes take time. Sometimes more than a month.

There are some areas of the detox where I feel I’ve done well. I’ve now deleted Facebook. My involvement in a local non-profit kept me running its page until I could find a replacement. Thankfully I was able to get that taken care of just one week into the detox. I never expect to have a social media presence ever again, aside from Substack, I suppose.

I spent more time outside just being. It’s been amazing to note how many birds are in my backyard. All I had to do was sit and listen! And as some of you have probably read, I discovered my daughter’s love for the whippoorwill.

I’ve read one book and started another. I’ve had solid face-to-face conversations with fellow co-worker who I had not interacted with much before. I also enjoyed a wonderful visit with my brother and his family and cooked a new meal for the occasion.

I engaged in new areas of landscaping which I will consider a new physical activity. The leveling of even a tiny section of land - armed with nothing more than a shovel - is no small undertaking. And the newly leveled front-bed of my home provided a wonderful blank canvas my wife and I used to make our front yard more beautiful. I expect our work will be well rewarded next spring with our new gardenias and transplanted azaleas. Godspeed to those who decide to transplant shrubs by hand. A workout, indeed.

But I learned something very valuable about myself and how I use technology. For me, the environment is key and situations matter.

During the weekends, it’s been delightfully easy to disregard my phone altogether. I think I’ve sent a handful of texts and made concessions to check my email once or twice (more on this in a moment). I’ve had multiple outings without my phone. At one point, my wife and I each left our devices behind while we trotted to a local farm to pick strawberries with our daughter and my wife’s mother. We had such a wonderful trip and commented to each other that the time without our phones with our hands on the earth was therapeutic. And I made a cobbler which I had not done in some time! The practice of keeping my phone out of my sight and reach while at home is something I will most likely continue full time from this point forward.

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I must admit to one Saturday of very fun digital-tech use. I was doing a bit of yard work when my wife said, “Why don’t you just get your chainsaw out and cut down some of these trees?” I’d been complaining about some of the dead and scraggly trees that scattered our backyard. So I took the opportunity to get out my Bluetooth speaker and had Spotify play Johnny Cash at random while I took down some nuisance trees. While I will probably look for other ways to play music around the house in the future, this was an enjoyable time and the most time spent listening to music during the detox. Also, I’m going to attempt to make a birdhouse from some of the wood cut down during this afternoon so this will be my “beautiful thing” once the wood is done drying a bit.

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While the weekends were very low in digital technology use, the weekdays at work have been much more difficult. My job as a customer service representative keeps me in front of a computer all day and has illuminated my weakness of discipline. At the onset of the detox, I decided I would check texts every two hours while at work and only check emails and Substack every four hours. Some days this has gone very well and I’ve gotten a good bit of reading and writing done. Other days have been regrettable. I’ve allowed myself too much time, especially on Substack Notes, during my “downtime” at work. And while I’ve made some great new connections and even started some new writing exercises, the point is that I went against my own word and for that I am disappointed in myself.

But I also understand life happens. And though we may draw our own lines, sometimes we must adapt to better serve others and even serve our families well. During this detox my wife and I decided to move forward with a significant change in our life. We’ve decided to leave our church home and the United Methodist denomination. Personally, this spurred the completion and publishing of an essay that had been weighing on me for some time. I felt as if I physically needed to write it out of me, so that ended with more researching and time on Substack than I had planned. At the family level, this change involves my wife resigning from her job as it is tied to the church. And naturally, losing a job means a change of income so we’ve made some rather large changes in our finances. These changes on the church, job, and finances fronts required me to utilize texts and emails more than I had intended. My wife also happens to be 36-weeks pregnant, so I was more attentive to her messages than I might usually be. While I don’t necessarily regret these adaptations to the digital detox, I still feel I allowed myself too much leeway in using technology to navigate these changing tides. But to dwell on what’s been done is fruitless, so I’ve made the decision to move forward in seeking a more narrow digital path. My next 30-day detox starts now.

So if you would, reader, pray for me? I ask that you pray for the determination and discipline to stick to my goals. I’m going to try to figure out how to change my workplace to discourage the unnecessary use of the internet. I ask that you would also pray for my family in our time of change. The blessing of a new baby will undoubtedly outweigh the gloom that comes from deciding to leave a church you intended to serve.

And I’ll pray for you too. I’ll pray that too you make decisions to be more intentional with your time. May we all increase our attention and devotion to God and our families and do our best to serve one another well.

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P.S. If you too ventured on the detox I’m looking forward to reading about your experience as well. If you feel so inclined, share a link to your detox outcome in the comments. 

1. The language is a bit dramatic but my wife often tells me I’m sooooo dramatic at home, so I’m just going to roll with it here.